Grateful Grateful Truly blessed and duly grateful

Last day of school

Eddie showing off his card from his friends at school

Yesterday was Eddie's last day at his current daycare. He'd been going there since just after his first birthday, and it was bittersweet to leave. On one hand, the very small, church-run school was very friendly and loving. Everyone in that building - from the teachers and staff to the kids in all of the classroom - knew Eddie by name. There was no doubt that they loved him.

On the other hand, I've had concerns about how slow they've been to promote him to the next room since the very beginning. I had to push to have him moved up to the next classroom, even when he was months behind when his peers were being moved. For example, the classroom he left is for kids up to 26 months, and he's almost 32 months. They were always hesitant to move him because of his size and some of his delays, but the fact of the matter is that he's never going to be the size as other kids his age, and what is most going to encourage him to catch up in motor and emotional skills is being among his same-age peers. Also, within the past six months or so, it's become clear that he's intellectuality ready to move on, and so I just couldn't continue to keep him in a place that wouldn't push him without me pushing them.

I've been researching and touring several schools over the past year or so, looking for a good fit. The most important thing was for me to find a school that would allow him to advance (dare I say?) "educationally" despite some of his other delays. I visited one school last winter that was supposed to be all about inclusion but told me that it'd probably be best that the other parents didn't know about Eddie's differences. I began thinking that a Montessori program, with its' multiple-age classes, would be a good option, but I didn't find one I liked.

In desperation, I went back to a school that I had fallen in love with when Eddie was 6 weeks old and I was first looking for a daycare. At that time, I loved everything about the place, but couldn't afford (or justify) the cost. Clearly, a lot has changed since Eddie was a newborn. I had no idea if this place would meet our current needs.

Once we got there, it was clear that it does. This is a school that has experience with different levels of special needs, and works with those needs. (These were, of course, never things I even thought to ask about back in the day.) The teachers were really, really sweet, and the kids seemed really, really happy. Eddie loved the playground and the birds and the fish. The lesson plans are directed by what the kids are interested in, and there is a combination of planned and self-directed learning. They leave detailed notes at the end of each day about what your kid did, in addition to notes about what the entire class did. They keep binders for each kid to track their progress.

We talked about placement, and he would be placed in the 2-year-old room. However, they said that based on his language and behavior during the tour, they would likely promote him to the preschool room (3-year-olds) in November. I said that even January would be fine, if that ends up being best, but that I didn't want him to be held back for months after other kids his age. The thing is, they'll promote him when he's intellectually ready to be in that room, not when he's able to jump or weighs 30 pounds or even is potty trained.

The potty training issue has been a big one. I toured schools who were absolutely shocked that Eddie wasn't potty trained by 2 and a half. At every school I spoke with, it was a requirement for kids to be potty trained in order to enter the 3-year-old room. I understand having these rules, but I really appreciated what the new school had to say on that: Some kids will never be able to be potty trained, but they're not going to keep them in the 2-year-old room forever. Eddie's colon issues keep putting a stop to us trying to train. Even just trying to "pee-train" him seems silly if he's going to spend a week in the hospital within the next month or two. So we wait, and hopefully will be able to show some progress on that front by the time he's 3. But with the constipation, I think it's a pipe dream to think that potty training will be anywhere close to complete by then.

And if we had to wait until he weighed 30 pounds, it'd be another two or more years at the rate he's going.

Anyway, that's where we are with the school situation. Fingers crossed that it's as good of a fit as I think it is.

And the picture? That's Eddie with his "Thomas card" that his classroom made him. He's also wearing his new "boots," but I 'll have to share that story in another post as this one has gotten way, way longer than I expected.