Grateful Grateful Truly blessed and duly grateful

Another way in which I’ve failed my child

I'll post a summary of our short beach vacation with pictures soon, but in the meantime I wanted to share an email conversation I had with Eddie's Babies Can't Wait case worker.

On Wednesday, I got the following email:

Eddie's transition meeting with the [Retracted] County preschool program is: Thursday, September 9, 2010 @ 11:30 Location: [Retracted]

(Eddie’s does not have to be at this meeting). You should be receiving a packet of information and directions from the Babies Can’t Wait office.

My first reaction: Finally! An appointment to discuss the next steps in seeing if Eddie will quality for services through the school system once he turns three. I can't wait to go to this meeting.

My second reaction: [Exploitative deleted]! I can't make that appointment. I will be missing work the morning of September 7 to transition to the new school and the afternoon of September 8 to take him in for a colon biopsy. I will be moderating usability test sessions all day on both the 9th and the 10th. I will have to reschedule this school meeting.

So, I sent the following email:

I am not able to make that meeting. I can't get away from the office on the 9th or 10th.

Can it be rescheduled? Note that I will be out of town on business Sept 12-16.

The email was a little short, but I was writing from my phone while on vacation. I (silly me) thought it wouldn't be a huge deal to reschedule.

This is the response I got:

The meeting are  prescheduled by the school system so I cannot rescheulde. The next meeting will be in October. Can your husband attend? The meeting is really important to ensure Eddie will start the preschool program after he turns 3 if he is eligible.

My reaction to this one: Sobbing. The Babies Can't Wait lady just told me that I'm a horrible mother because I work and can't miss a chunk of time in the middle of a Thursday with one week's notice. Perhaps I overreacted, but did she really think that I didn't realize that this was "really important"? Shouldn't she have some idea how much working parents of kids with any kind of special needs have to balance their time between work and the countless doctor, therapy, and other appointments that their kid requires? That maybe showing up to work is important, too, so that I can keep the job that provides the insurance that (kind of) pays for all of those doctors appointments and therapies? UGH.

Eddie's response when he saw me crying: "Mommy is crying. It's okay, Mommy." (pat, pat, pat) "It's okay, Mommy." (pat, pat, pat) "It's okay, Mommy." (pat pat pat) (repeat)

I wrote back with the following (again, from my phone):

I understand that this meeting is important, but it's also important I keep my job. I'm irritated by the assumption that we can be free in the middle of a work day with one week's notice - this may be fine for stay at home parents, but for anyone with a job, it's impossible. My job is usually pretty flexible, but a few times a month I moderate research sessions that would cost my company hundreds of dollars to reschedule.

That said, I guess we'll have to go in October. Is there any way to know in advance when the appointment will be so I can be sure to be available?

Still no response. Fingers crossed that we hear something in enough time that I can be sure to actually be available, because otherwise they may as well call child protective services on me for endangering my kid's future by having a job.